Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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