Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
