I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
