what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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