She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
