Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
