Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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