My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
