If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You're like the curious george of whores
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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