Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
