I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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