guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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