WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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