Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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