I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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