when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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