Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
