Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
