You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
