Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
