Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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