you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
