look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
