Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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