She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
