I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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