Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
