i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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