HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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