he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
