She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
