I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I had to cum in my sink.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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