Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
