well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
