i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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