8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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