i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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