i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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