he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I see more hoeing in ur future
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
