Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
