That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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