i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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