It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
