Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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