we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
