Non-Jews are for practice
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
