I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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