I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
