I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
