First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
