My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
